I did not marry to get divorced. Yet here I am.
Though I did everything I knew how to do and was willing to do more, marriage requires two who are willing to do all they can to succeed. Having been left with no other way forward, I now restart my search for an eternal companion.
As I do, I first need to thank all of those who have been there for me and my children, especially over the past few years of greatest difficulty (which I'm sure aren't over, especially for my kids). The friendship, advice, guidance, correction, empathy, listening ears, thoughts, concerns, prayers, and every other form of help and assistance that have been offered to me or any of my children has been and will continue to be greatly appreciated.
This experience has caused me to reflect frequently on the purpose of marriage and life in general.
I have long known that the ultimate purpose of this life is to become more like God, our Heavenly Father, and His only-begotten Son, Jesus Christ. A big part of that journey includes being tried and tested to see if we will follow Christ's example, keep God's commandments, honor our covenants, and do all of this in spite of many challenges, including the actions of others. We all fall short. We all have need to repent and try harder. But, if we endure to the end by continuing to repent and try ever harder, the atonement of Jesus Christ makes it possible for each of us to overcome our many imperfections to become like our Father in Heaven.
The covenant of eternal marriage is ordained of God and is an essential part of becoming like Him. As such, it has been one of my core life goals since I was quite young. My recent struggles and experiences could very easily lead me to discard this goal or consider it unimportant due to disappointment, anger, bitterness, or similarly negative thoughts and emotions. However, I understand better now just how important honoring the marriage covenant really is and just how much selfless work and sacrifice is required of both partners on a daily and ongoing basis. Therefore, my goal of eternal marriage and my testimony of the underlying principles and doctrines have not been weakened, but strengthened.
In resuming my search for an eternal companion, I will be deliberate, not desperate. I will be neither reluctant nor rushed, but will seek the Lord's guidance and direction in my efforts and actions and will accept His timing. The only absolute requirement I will have is a woman whose greatest desire is to become like our Heavenly Father and is determined to do everything required by such a lofty goal, for this is my ultimate goal too. This includes being and always remaining worthy to enter the temples of the Lord. Honoring all covenants made with God. Obeying all of God's commandments. And, most importantly, being both strong and humble enough to sincerely repent on a daily basis, because we all fall short of these ideals. I don't expect perfection (nor can I offer it). I do expect sincere dedication and valiant effort (which I offer). As Larry R. Lawrence declared in October 2015 general conference, "our Heavenly Father knows our divine potential. He rejoices every time we take a step forward. To Him, our direction is ever more important than our speed." Our desires determine our direction and I want to be moving, together with my eternal companion, towards Him.
As one chapter of my life ends, another begins. I plan to make this the best chapter yet.
(Text copied from my Facebook post.)